This issue is a relatively common one. Many people are at effect of physical discomfort, emotional upset or negative self-talk.

For me, being “other conscious” rather than “self conscious” is the surest way to move past this state. As I use the term, “self conscious” means a preoccupation with oneself at the expense of being fully occupied and present with other people or on other ideas.

An example is found in the story of Pablo Casals, as related by Norman Cousins in his 1979 book, Anatomy of an Illness (a remarkable story itself).

Casals was an extraordinary person in a wealth of ways. One of the greatest musicians of the 20th Century, he is considered by many the most accomplished cellist of all time. Cousins spent time with him shortly before his 90th birthday, a time when Casals’ hands were swollen and his fingers were clenched from arthritis so severe he needed help even to get dress. His had labored breathing from emphysema. He appeared to be a very, very frail and drained old man.

Twice a day, however, he would make his way to his piano and, with great difficulty, seat himself and bring his hands to the keyboard. Once Casals began to play, Cousins reported, his state changed; “The fingers slowly unlocked and reached toward the keys like the buds of a plant toward the sunlight. His back straightened. He seemed to breathe more freely.”

By the time he walked away from the piano he walk straighter, taller and without a trace of a shuffle, as if he has been cured from his illness. In short, his physical state of being has totally changed.

Cousins concludes, “A man almost 90, beset by the infirmities of old age, was able to cast off his afflictions, at least temporarily, because he knew he had something of overriding importance to do…” – expressing himself creatively.

When I am preoccupied with physical discomfort, emotional upset or negative self-talk (when I am self conscious), I remind myself that there are many things in my life that are of overriding importance. In 21st Century Leadership we define these and call them Purpose, fully expressing who I am, Big Game, Definition of Success, inclusion of others, building and leading through relationships, and, simply stated, being fully present with someone else or with a task to which one attaches significance and meaning.

As with all things, we each have choice – self conscious or other conscious?

Maybe you were unclear about what you wanted to say, probably you were in resistance and certainly you made other and probably less valuable things more important. And then, in the 11th hour, you marshaled your resources, got sufficiently clear about what you wanted to say and did the work. Time was up – do or die.

Another way of thinking about this is that the closer you got to the deadline the more important the paper became to you and the stronger you fixed your intention to write it. What seemed necessary in the moment supported you becoming intentional enough to do it.

If you are like most people, you continue to repeat this pattern today. It is more common than not for people to put the tasks, communications and actions that they resist, or about which they feel particularly challenged, on the back burner (these are, incidentally, often the ones with the highest payoffs). Then, as an established deadline approaches, or people reach their emotional limits of incompletion, fear and uncertainty, they fix their intention (make it important enough) to get it handled and “just do it”.

I often hear people justify this approach. They say they work better under pressure or are more creative in the face of a deadline. Perhaps this is true, but probably not. I think they just experience relief that they got it done and confuse relief with excellence.

I believe that when I fix my intention to handle what is most important first – to spend my time to my highest and best use – I work just as well as when I am under pressure and I am equally creative. And, the benefits are immense. To name a few, I lead rather than react, I spend more time on what matters most (I further my purpose), I have more time to check and adjust my initial results so I ensure excellence, and I avoid excessive stress.

When necessity is the mother of my intention, it is because I allow it. Rather than waiting until I think, “I have to do it now or else…”, I believe I am much more effective when I fix my intention early (make a conscious intellectual and emotional choice to do it now) and handle first things first.