Congruent Self-Expression

Many people confuse congruence with authenticity. Phil and I make a point of differentiating “authentic” and “congruent”. My belief is when people hear the word “authentic” they connect this concept with being real or genuine. As human beings how do we deny or mask who we truly are? What some people might judge as false images are, from my point of view, actually real personas and authentic.

The opposite of being “authentic” is being “fake” or, perhaps, superficial. Without someone or something else inhabiting my being how on earth would I do “fake”? Even if I were to put on false lashes and ten-inch heels I think I am not doing fake as much as I am doing over the top, an exaggerated or very real projection of who I am on some level.

While I am authentic, I am not always congruent. To be congruent means that I show up in life consistent with what is truly most important to me.

“Leadership is congruent self-expression that creates value.”

To emphasize my point: Some things that are truly most important to me are that I am known as someone who cares for herself and contributes to others, someone who is respectful and someone who is held in high regard. When I project an image aligned with these desires I think I am being congruent. On days when I judge myself to be dressed shabbily, when I catch myself saying things I judge to be disrespectful, or when I evoke belligerent behavior, I believe I am being authentic and incongruent.

I sometimes walk a fine line. I enjoy play. I sometimes entertain myself yanking another’s chain. When I walk this line I am authentic and sometimes not congruent. Staying highly conscious of my intention I show up in life in ways that correspond with what I value the most. ┬áModeling behavior I want from others is key, letting myself off the hook when I slip. I am as compassionate with others as I am with myself.

I am “a piece of work” in progress.

I encourage you to join me – making a consciously held effort to model leadership, as congruent self-expression that creates value.

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