Someone recently suggested to me, “I bet you work with people you don’t like and they probably don’t even know you don’t like them.” This is my response:
- I am connected with my appreciation for people more than I am connected to any resistance. I know we, all humans, have similarities, even when these similarities are not obvious on the surface. Every single person I get to know well, including Phil, has ways of being I don’t like – almost always fewer than those I appreciate. When it comes to human beings no two operating systems are the same.
- I think it is interesting someone might believe I pretend to like what I don’t like – for even a split second. If I judge something negatively I do one of two things immediately; I either get off my position or I communicate what I am thinking and feeling. In either case, this does not mean I don’t like the person.
- I am reactive, at least internally, when I think people are generalizing – putting themselves or others in a category. People don’t fit in a box for me. I have dedicated my life to helping people connect with their uniqueness and celebrate their uniqueness. Anyone willing to be fully expressive, creating value while improving the human condition in some way, may consider me a fan – whether or not they have behaviors and traits I think are unattractive. Someone is likely attracted to these same behaviors and traits. Remembering this I am connecting with my humor.
- There are, in my life, only a few people who I sometimes think I would be happy never crossing paths with again. This simply has to do with my experience of duplicity in relation to them. At the same time, I consciously “hit my reset button” and let go of my resentment…until the next time I experience resentment or vulnerability, in which case I “hit my reset button” again.
- I go out of my way to get to know people toward whom I feel resistance, knowing it is all about me. Being the bigger person isn’t easy for me all the time, and sometimes I am slow to get there. I know it is the right thing to do as I create an extraordinary growth experience for myself. While not “perfect”, I do my best to practice self-management of my initial emotional experience. When I slip, I acknowledge my humanness. I believe, “We are all perfect in our imperfections,” and “All things occur perfectly.”
I stimulate my own thought process on a particular topic when I experience resistance to a statement I hear, or a question asked for which I think the answer is obvious. Thank you all (I think you know who you are), for being the gifts that you are – helping me to clarify my truth in the moment, asking me the questions you do and making statements that I think are most interesting.